Emotional manipulation is a complex reality of the human experience. It’s also an incredibly impactful device that can be wielded by writers to tell nuanced, complex stories. This is because motivation (often nefarious motivation) lies at the root of all emotional manipulation. And since want and character motivation are such powerful factors in storytelling, emotional manipulation, in turn, can be a powerful tool in a storyteller’s arsenal. 

But this device is not to be used lightly. Emotional manipulation is a multi-faceted human behavior and should be treated as such when implementing it as a storytelling device. And most importantly, when using this device as a screenwriter, it’s imperative to understand how to correctly portray and identify the different types of emotional manipulation that often appear in art. 

Gaslighting, Where it All Began

Gaslighting is perhaps one of the most referenced tools of an emotional manipulator. The term has become relatively popular in recent years as a catch-all for emotional abuse. However, oftentimes, it’s referenced incorrectly. Plainly defined, gaslighting is when one person attempts to devalue another person’s sanity by actively deceiving them, in turn forcing their victim to doubt their own coherence. The term comes from the 1944 film Gaslight, in which a young woman (played by Ingrid Bergman) comes to doubt her own lucidity as her husband manipulates her psychologically.

The film follows Paula, a young singer grappling with the death of her aunt, and her husband Gregory, who actively lies to Paula about strange goings on around their shared home. Paula says she sees the home’s eponymous gaslights dim mysteriously at similar times of the night.  But Gregory insists that Paula must be hallucinating. Additionally, Paula has vivid memories of discovering mysterious letters which Gregory claims don’t exist. Without spoiling too much about the film’s ending, it comes to light that Gregory has a rather nefarious reason to be forcing Paula to doubt her own sanity, namely, covering his own tracks. 

Gregory Anton (Charles Boyer) & Paula Alquist (Ingrid Bergman) In Gaslight. Photo courtesy of MGM

As both the first and perhaps the best example of gaslighting committed to film, Gaslight gets a lot right about portraying the type of emotional manipulation it lends its name to. For one, what makes this story so compelling onscreen is the simple fact that we, as the audience, know that Paula is being gaslit. Conversely, in other films, gaslighting will be used by writers as a twist like in The Girl on the Train. While this is not inherently misguided, it does underplay the impact that gaslighting can have on a person’s psyche.

However, because we know Paula is being gaslit, Bergman’s portrayal of madness becomes incredibly captivating as it creates excellent dramatic irony for the audience. Additionally, Gregory using gaslighting as a tool of emotional manipulation gives us insight into his nefarious motivations, and therefore reveals character drive in a fantastically organic way. This is just one way that utilizing emotional manipulation in characters becomes a shorthand for motivation, irony, and thematic resonance. 

Emotional Abuse and Power Dynamics

Though a much broader form of manipulation, emotional abuse is another often-portrayed device utilized for film and television shows. It typically involves the manipulator capitalizing on and taking advantage of their emotional connection with their victim to get what they want. Using emotional abuse in your story can be incredibly impactful as it reveals an essential element at the core of a character dynamic: power imbalance. 

The television series Little Fires Everywhere perfectly demonstrates the impact of emotional abuse in storytelling and how it reveals power dynamics. Elena (Reese Witherspoon), one of the central characters in the series, captures this in a scene between her and her daughter Izzy (Megan Stott). In the scene, Elena can’t get Izzy to wear a certain pair of tartan keds for a family Christmas photo. To Izzy, rejecting the keds helps her maintain her individual identity and doubles as a spiteful retort towards her mother. However, Elena capitalizes on Izzy’s perceived individuality by projecting a “black sheep” narrative back on her. Elena insists Izzy wears the keds if she “wants to be a part of this family” in a frantic tirade. 

Elena (Reese Witherspoon) & Izzy (Megan Stott) in Little Fires Everywhere. Photo by Erin Simkin/ Hulu

This scene gets a lot right about using emotional abuse to reveal power dynamics. Beyond the obvious power dynamic between Elena and Izzy (that of a parent and child), Elena’s emotional abuse reveals how willing she is to threaten Izzy with the power she wields as the matriarch of her family. This demonstrates a lack of care and consideration that only those who wield power can muster so casually. Additionally, this example of emotional abuse connects back to Elena’s central motivation, namely, controlling Izzy. And since revealing motivation reveals characterization, this scene manages to deftly peel back layers of character dynamics in organic and subversive ways.  

Targeting Insecurity with Good Intentions

Another tactic of emotional manipulators is to target their victim’s insecurities. The abuser will lock onto and exploit a specific insecurity in their victim to get what they want, like picking at a scab that hasn’t yet healed. Targeting insecurity is a fantastic device to use for storytelling as it helps highlight character details in both the victim and the abuser simultaneously. 

A film that perfectly encapsulates this specific tactic of emotional manipulators and its storytelling impact is I, Tonya. Tonya’s mother, LaVona (Allison Janney) often preys upon her daughter’s fears or insecurities throughout the film even when her intentions are technically good. LaVona’s willingness to rely on this tactic of emotional manipulators and the insecurities she exploits reveal a lot about the complexity of this mother-daughter relationship. 

Consider the sequence leading up to Tonya’s Triple Axel jump. In the scene, prior to emerging on the ice, Tonya (Margot Robbie) gets heckled by a fan in the stands. The fan gets under her skin rather easily, claiming that Tonya not only “sucks” but makes this event look like “rednecks on ice.” He even makes a very specific reference to her being better suited for the Ice Capades, something LaVona once said to Tonya herself. Eventually, it’s revealed that this man was paid off by LaVona to rile Tonya up, thus ensuring that she would successfully land her Triple Axel. 

LaVona has good intentions in this scene – she wants to help her daughter succeed. But the tactics she employs in this regard demonstrate a profound maternal dysfunction and an eagerness to rely on emotional manipulation to achieve a desired outcome. This tells the audience a lot about LaVona as a character without her even having to say a word. We know that LaVona is someone who’s deeply manipulative and borderline Machiavellian. She has a profound understanding of her daughter’s psychology, but uses that understanding in twisted, warped ways.

LaVona (Allison Janney) & young Tonya (Mckenna Grace) in I, Tonya. Photo courtesy of AI Film

Furthermore, what’s most compelling about using this type of emotional manipulation in writing is that it also tells us about the victim, not just the manipulator. It shows us what inspires insecurity in the character, and how they react to having those insecurities picked at. Is this the type of character that wilts under pressure, or thrives under it? In Tonya’s case, this scene reveals a character whose main motivation in life is to prove others wrong. In this way, targeting insecurity reveals motivation for both manipulator and victim alike, making it a powerful weapon in a writer’s toolkit when it comes to effectively relaying insights into character motivation. 

Reverse-engineering character detail for LaVona and Tonya in this way also highlights an overreaching consideration when using emotional manipulation as a storytelling technique. This component is perhaps the most important reason to correctly utilize this device in writing. Emotional manipulation doesn’t just drive the plot, it drives character. 

When dealing with subject matter that pertains to emotional manipulation, making good use of the device can often be the fastest and most impactful way to reveal characterization. As mentioned before, some films like The Girl on the Train, for example, employ gaslighting to advance the plot or sell their audience on a twist. While this isn’t intrinsically wrong, it’s not nearly as compelling or impactful as using emotional manipulation to develop character. After all, plots don’t manipulate people, characters do. So, while making use of specific forms of emotional manipulation can be a great storytelling tool, it’s imperative to tie this device back to its source: the manipulators, and the characters, themselves.