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Dating Your Character

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Most screenwriters can attest that creating your main character is much like entering a long-term relationship: it’s a months-long process of confusion, frustration and elation months as you struggle to figure out whether it’s a perfect match or not. This is why Dating Your Character: A Sexy Guide to Screenwriting for Film and Television, by Marilyn R. Atlas, Devorah Cutler-Rubenstein and Elizabeth Lopez may become essential in your library. The book is not only helpful in terms of “meeting” the perfect character for you and your screenplay, but it also makes the process of developing your character fun.

The idea for the book first came when Atlas and Cutler-Rubenstein, along with her TV writer husband, Scott, examined the “meet cute” dynamic both in life and in stories. “We started talking about ‘the bar metaphor,’” recalls Cutler-Rubenstein. “Whether you are in the real world or the reel world, it’s the same thing. Everyone is checking each other out to see who they want to spend time with or avoid.”

dating-your-character

The idea of dating your character then evolved over a series of seminars the trio instructed over the years. “Marilyn and I started teaching a class on Creating Non Stereotypical Characters and that lead to our first lectures on Dating Your Character,” says Cutler-Rubenstein. “After class we both kind of looked at each other and said we have something here in this ‘dating your character’ idea. Then Elizabeth and I morphed the class and taught Dating Frankenstein for The Writer’s Store, which was about romancing your character, even if they seem unlovable.”

Adds Lopez: “We wanted a light and easy-going guide—not something tyrannical with a lot of rules. We wanted something you could put down, pick up, and really interact with. Something that wasn’t strictly theoretical, but helped writers actually create from a blank page.”

The three women have a lot of experience to draw upon. Atlas is an award-winning producer (Women Have Curves) and personal manager at Marilyn Atlas Management, while Lopez is a script consultant and current VP of Literary Development at Marilyn Atlas Management. Cutler-Rubenstein is a writer/producer/director and career consultant and CEO of The Script Broker, as well as an adjunct professor at USC of Cinematic Arts.

Creative Screenwriting chatted with the three women on how “dating” your character informs your screenplay, how to tell when your character is “The One,” and when you should actually dump your character.

Why do you think “dating” your character before you start writing — or even outlining — your story is so important and helpful?

Elizabeth Lopez

Elizabeth Lopez

Elizabeth: Writers are usually detail-oriented, and so they try to drill down into specifics about their character early on to feel they have a foundation to work with and not just a random, free-floating set of ideas. But that approach can lead to arbitrary choices that lock you in.

Our belief is that writers should open themselves up to whatever character may eventually capture their imagination. This is also the time to differentiate yourself and force yourself to distill all the reasons why you want to tell this particular story—and why you alone are the writer to tell it.

Devorah Cutler-Rubensterin

Devorah Cutler-Rubenstein

Devo: It reinforces the process about an honest approach to the work. And also there is the idea of dating: Is there chemistry? Do you want to spend a large amount of time with this imaginary person? An attraction, or fascination, between a writer and her or his character must be there.

Then the attraction between creator and creation can be mined through a progression in a relationship. At the outset, having clarity about whom you want to date is critical to a successful script. You save yourself the trouble of going down blind or wrong alleys for your project. And it’s also just such a great starting place for a metaphor for writer-character relationship.

What are some essential elements every main character – or a good date – should have?

Marilyn R. Atlas

Marilyn R. Atlas

Marilyn: A good character—like a good date—should be interesting, complex, fun to be with, a good listener, smart, quick, aware. They should engage and challenge you. The greatest characters have something universal in them—we have to be able to see enough of ourselves to make us care. I believe what makes characters memorable is if they are relatable, fascinating, or mysterious.

A lot of writers are under the misconception that a character must be likable – no. A character must be relatable, and oftentimes that means making a character unlikable. The key is creating a fully fleshed emotional life. I think if you’re really creating a complex character that they may come to reveal deep motivations. Just as in an evolving romantic relationship, you want to get as much personal information as you can about the character.

Elizabeth: There should be a good back-and-forth during the date, but while that’s the ideal—you have to play it by ear. If you’re dealing with a character who’s shy and withholding, or suspicious and wary, it may be worth it, even if you have to do most of the work by being entertaining, understanding, and probing.

There are specific exercises in DYC that help you draw out the character. For example “Targeting Your Character” can help you elicit more cooperation from a difficult or recalcitrant persona.

Diane Keaton as Annie Hall and Woody Allen as Alvy Singer in Annie Hall

Diane Keaton as Annie Hall and Woody Allen as Alvy Singer in Annie Hall

How long do you think a screenwriter should “date” their character?

Elizabeth: How long you should do these preliminary types of exercises depends both on your writing schedule and your tolerance for free-flowing exploration that might not directly translate into scenes you can just readily plop into your script.

But, generally, if you can commit to 15 hours a week for story outlining, research, and your DYC exercises—you should be good to go in 2 months. If you’re more of a hobbyist and that timeline has to be stretched out, then it could take you a string of maybe 4 months’ weekend sessions.

It all comes down to whether you continue to get something out of your DYC work or whether you feel you have a full enough physical portrait, CV of past triumphs and personal failures, and of course that all important psychological profile to undergird most every thought and action. You want to have enough information at your fingertips and nuance in your character to sustain you during the writing of the actual script.

Marilyn: It takes time to unearth the compelling and interesting elements of a character. I think there’s a moment in dating, as well as when you’re writing a character, where someone is fully vulnerable and open, and they reveal a facet of themselves that one connects with.

Drew Barrymore as Lucy Whitmore and Adam Sandler as Henry Roth in 50 First Dates © 2003 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Drew Barrymore as Lucy Whitmore and Adam Sandler as Henry Roth in 50 First Dates © 2003 Columbia Pictures Industries, Inc. All Rights Reserved

How do you know if they are The One?

Devo: Great question. We have talked about this, as every writer wants criteria that can be a gauge for the effectiveness of the work. Every writer has to ask: “Have I created the emotion that I set out to create?” So you begin to know it intuitively; it feels like you are battling resistance when you are not in relationship with your character. Choosing not writing from an appropriate character can lead to squalls, stalls and unnecessary falls along the way.

Courting The One often leads to a feeling of “a flow state,” just like any work of art. You feel in the zone and it just feels almost too easy. But it should be when you are writing from that creative space, with the character often leading the way. In a flow state with your character, what you write will be consistent with the story you want to tell.

Conversely, when do you think it’s appropriate to dump your character?

Elizabeth: If you’re depressed—or made too uncomfortable—by the process of going through the writing prompts with the character. Also if, after going through a third of the book, you find you’re inconsolably bored, then you may need to do a re-do. If you are wiping the slate clean, try and at least hold onto the initial 3 or 4 non-negotiable core elements that you started working with. Then, you may see how the first trajectory the character took didn’t have to be the only one, if you reboot a second time with this clear, almost primal idea of who she has to be.

Devo: When you stay stuck for more than a couple days – or feel in a creative jam. Or, your character does not seem to fit your theme or your theme does not seem to fit your character. Maybe it is the wrong character for the story you want to tell. But, before you cut the character off – before you dump the character – the book has exercises and prompts that can help to see if everyone (plot, theme, character) are addressing the same big question your script is trying to answer. Adjust, and tweak from there

Elizabeth: In the book, we have a set of “Confrontational Exercises” that we’d urge people to turn to when making the decision whether to start over. “Escapist Exercises,” too, that might be helpful in making the playing field more even, so that both you and your character feel out of place and more likely to forge at least some kind of temporary common bond.

Vince Vaughn as Gary and Jennifer Aniston as Brooke in The Break Up

Vince Vaughn as Gary and Jennifer Aniston as Brooke in The Break Up

Do you believe that character creates story?

Marilyn: To me, the more enduring stories come from great characters. Many times, I’ve read a book or seen a movie or a television show once, and while I may not remember the plot, I always remember characters that resonated with me.

I think a character fits a genre, and if a writer knows who their character is, the stakes will be highest based on knowing the character’s flaws — what happens if they can’t get what they want or need. So much is dependent on the essence of that character and what they are grappling with in a particular story.

Elizabeth: Without character you have abstract plot points—a frame of things and complications that might happen. But, without knowing your character, the stakes don’t matter and don’t hinge on any particularities of your character; you can’t tailor the stakes, if you don’t know what she’s capable of and what’s holding her back. There’s no clear way to exacerbate her flaws.

Your book is a proponent of creating a character from the inside, out, rather than the traditional “from the outside, in”. Why do you believe that is a key to creating an interesting and appropriate character to drive your story?

Elizabeth: That way you start from a true place of doubt, so you don’t retreat to physical characteristics that can make you feel as though you’re quickly making progress. You also have to focus on the core attitude or frame of mind that you’re exploring. What are you trying to tap into with this character? Why is this character—what she stands for—needed in today’s world?

You really have to push yourself and are more likely to question the choices and character facts you embrace. It’s a question of agreeing to operate from a sense of discovery rather than fear. You’re not supposed to figure everything out at once.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tom and Zooey Deschanel as Summer in (500) Days of Summer

Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tom and Zooey Deschanel as Summer in (500) Days of Summer

What are your favorite parts of the book? In terms of the book, which parts have helped you become a better writer?

Devo: Personally, I really like the “Character Liability Chart.” It forces you, the writer, to think about what could have happened in a character’s life to wound your character; and then to get specific about what behavior is born of that wound or trauma.

Elizabeth: I think I’m most proud of how we’ve made a special effort to show how your protagonist doesn’t exist in a vacuum but has to directly contrast with all the other characters in the world of the story. Even best friends who agree on seemingly everything have to part ways at a certain point. So only the protagonist, alone, dares to go on her journey.

We have a section of the book to help you map out and think about all the possible motivational reasons, complications, and overlap that you can use to create more conflict and to hone the protagonist’s POV. From having read thousands of scripts, this is something that differentiates professional-level scripts from those written by talented amateurs.

What’s truly informed this book is the way we’ve each worked with our clients—who’ve sold shows and been on staff. We don’t just provide a page of script notes. When necessary, we sometimes pose character questions to our writers, and if they have trouble responding—or have to start thinking and back-pedaling—then they’re still writing through their own personal lens, rather than filtering everything through the POV of the character.

America Ferrera as Ana Garcia in Real Women Have Curves © 2002 Newmarket Films

America Ferrera as Ana Garcia in Real Women Have Curves © 2002 Newmarket Films

What’s next for you?

Marilyn: We’re going to continue to teach workshops and speak to writers. We’re developing “Real Women Have Curves” as a musical. There’s interest in it for a potential series, and we continue to take intellectual property and adapt it for television. Elizabeth and I are drawn to diverse stories with strong, unconventional, female protagonists that are well-executed, quick-paced and so character-specific that they couldn’t have been written by any other writer.

Elizabeth: We have upcoming events in October through the California Writers Club — the Mount Diablo branch — and Women in Film in D.C. in November.

Devo: We are happy to focus on getting the book out there. We’d love to see it as a resource on every writer’s shelf or desktop, and to see it be in school libraries or classroom texts. Celebrating character is a bit like celebrating music; like music, memorable characters reach in and touch our souls.

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Brianne Hogan is a freelance writer based in Toronto, with a degree in Film Studies from NYU. <br> <table> <tr> <td><a href="http://twitter.com/briannehogan"><img src="https://creativescreenwriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/03/twitter.png" style="height:25px"></a> </td> <td><a href="http://twitter.com/briannehogan">@briannehogan</a> </td> </tr> <tr> <td><a href="http://briannehogan.tumblr.com/"><img src="https://creativescreenwriting.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/08/website-2-small.png" style="height:25px"></a> </td> <td><a href="http://briannehogan.tumblr.com/">briannehogan.tumblr.com</a> </td> </tr> </table>

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